New blog for my running journey

I started a new blog, Widow Running, for posts about running. It will replace my other blog, Frugal Weight Watcher. I will still continue to post to this blog for all my other non-running thoughts and endeavors. :)

Joy in the moment

My boys and I have laughed a lot together so far today--not because of anything unusual but just in living in the moment. This morning as we were eating our breakfast (our only leisurely breakfast during any week) we watched one of our fav TV shows, Wonder pets. It features these cute little pets; a duck, a turtle and a gerbil/hamster. They sing the some of cutest, happiest little songs. Well, this morning we got stuck singing over and over and over the "Teamwork" song. My littlest wanted me to answer the part of the song that goes "what's gonna work?" and the answer is supposed to be "teamwork." However, I keep singing an answer by replacing the initial constant with letters other than "t." We started laughing so hard we fell on the floor.

My eldest son and I often spell words so that we can communicate covertly so as not to alert or upset my youngest son. Today my son was asking me if he could have a soda (a special treat he wishes he could have all day, every day). So he spelled out the word soda as I was helping his brother with something. His brother immediately turned to me and said, "Mom can I have a 'j - o?' " (He was not asking for a cup of joe.) I started laughing and he started laughing as he said, "you know, GUM!" Oh, man these are the times that are the gems of life. sigh-----

Currently listening to: boys playing with Legos

Lunch today:
Sandwiches

Currently reading:
Psalms

Today grateful for:
my boys
simple joys
the presence of God
joy

Certainty and uncertainty are all in the view

I had a satisfying conversation this morning with several colleagues. It is very fulfilling to discuss faith with my colleagues and other non-church friends. This morning we started out discussing some hardships that one woman's adult son is experiencing. She was expressing a frustration about why things seem to be progressing or not progressing as they might hope for them to occur.

One thing always strikes me as odd. When I am talking to friends and they are expressing their displeasure or complaint about a situation many feel the need to apologize to me and say they are not trying to demean what I have experienced when they complain. I do not feel offended as I listen but I do lament the fact that we here in the US seem to have lost some perspective on this world in relation to God's kingdom. Few things seem certain in what many consider this "uncertain" time.

Yes, we should rely on God and we should take our requests before Him, but what are we really requesting. I do not believe in the prosperity doctrine and along with that, I do not believe God keeps all Christians from ALL physical harm. I think the promises in the Bible do not guarantee that harm will never come to his people or that his people will be well off or even rich.

Since my husband's death, two of my beliefs have been solidified and one belief that was my husband's is now my belief as well. Here are 3 things of which I am certain.

1. Control is an illusion--my dh( darling husband) always said. I know now that the only thing I have control over is myself-my thoughts and choices. I control nothing else in this world-If I begin to believe I control something then I have lost sight of my place in this world as well as the power of God and his enemies.

2. Suffering will happen to me on this earth. It is promised--it will happen. However, if I remember that the only thing I can control is my own mind then the accompanying pain that does not have to overtake me. A verse that has meant a great deal to me over many years is Acts 5:41 "So they departed from the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer shame for His name." Rejoicing in suffering---who would have thunk it. That does not appear to be the American perspective even for many Christians. Often Christians snivel at the slightest hint of "persecution."
---Students not being allowed to have a Christian club at school.
---Not being allowed to have a nativity on the town hall grounds
These are not persecution---this is NOT suffering. I do not believe we need to be doormats to this kind of treatment--but these are not suffering. The verse in Acts does not say complain loudly and repeatedly to everyone who will listen when you are counted worthy to suffer shame for His name. Such demeans those who truly suffer for His name. The Christians who are separated from each other, imprisoned for months or even years. Home churches that are burned to the ground with the congregation still inside. Saints who are beaten for teaching children the gospel.(http://www.persecution.com/) The disciples died horrific deaths for their faith and missions. Our own perspective on the suffering in this life makes all the difference in the outcome and our witness.

"Safely Home" by Ron DiCianni

3. I am guaranteed that God will never leave me. By my choice, I am bonded to God forever. That is all it takes, one choice. Then nothing, not poverty nor terminal illness nor death of a loved one nor my own death can take that bond away.

I doubt I would have had some of these thoughts before the death of my husband. That experience has changed much of my perspective. A friend of mine moved several states away last summer when her husband's company transferred him. She had lived here over 20 years and most of her family lives in the area. At the time she was debating the possibility of staying her in VA with her children while her husband worked in the new assignment- a 12 hour drive away. I asked what the point of that would be? I told her I would rather live out of my car and be with my husband than to live apart from him. What is certain?


Dinner tonight: out

Currently reading:
"Loving Our Kids on Purpose" by Danny Silk &
"When God Doesn't Answer Your Prayer" by Jerry Sittser
"The Swiss Family Robinson"

Currently listening to:
quiet

Thankful for:
--the roof over our heads
--a job
--clean water
--good childcare
--freedom to teach children about Jesus
--friends and family and fellowship
--God's love, dependability, and consistency
--God's comforting and fulfilling presence

my best friend introduced me to this song---so true---what do I know of holy?

Thoughts about blogging

I have not blogged in quite some time...not because I do not have much to write about but actually for the opposite reason-I have too much I have written about. I have a notebook full of writings that were originally meant as blog entries. However, as I reread these writings, most of which deal with my spiritual studies, grief, or my struggles of faith, I feel vulnerable at the thought of posting these. I struggle with whether or not to post, and what to post. In writing for this blog my intention is to simply share my thoughts and experiences. I am not actively seeking sympathy or pity by posting.

Dinner tonight: out

Currently reading:
"Loving Our Kids on Purpose" by Danny Silk &
"When God Doesn't Answer Your Prayer" by Jerry Sittser
"The Swiss Family Robinson"

Currently listening to:
Decyfer Down

Thankful for:
--extra Saturday night of --ahhhhh- worship at church
--presence of God
--"random dancing" with my boys

---one of my fav running song ---