I often wish for a few free days in order to clean and organize my house. For the past week or so, I have had my wish but I have not been making the best use of my time. In reality, when I do not strictly schedule my free time, I waste time and in the end I am more disorderly that on my busier days. So I need to find a way to make myself feel like I have a frantic deadline to fool myself into getting myself in gear.
Truth be told, I have a few OC tendencies which paired with my perfectionist, procrastination avoidance tendencies are an unhealthy mix. I inherited my mom’s depression era flawed thinking of “I might need this someday.” Arggh! I hate that I cannot just go through my clutter swiftly and dispose of stuff. Occasionally I watch those horrific hoarder shows in order to scare myself. Grief has not helped in that; sometimes I want to cling to some of Andy’s things. I think I do not want to deal with the feelings related to parting with them or I want to keep them for the boys. I hate having emotional attachment to things.
Those same perfectionist tendencies keep me from blogging, since I sometimes will work on a blog writing and rewriting and still be unsatisfied with my efforts. So today at least I am publishing this post without reconsidering it so that I can get off my duff and off the computer and get to some of the necessary tasks at hand.
Currently listening to:
the portable heater
Breakfast:
oatmeal
Currently reading:
Be Joyful
How to unspoil your child
A walk in the woods
Two chai day
Heaven is for real
(I tend to read multiple books at a time-my indecision and moodiness.)
Today grateful for:
being able to get my hair done
good child care
good health
working automobiles
vacation time
God’s provision
God's presence
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