Lately, I have been faced with several decisions to make. I either avoid making decisions like the plague or I make decisions as quickly as possible to get it over with as soon as possible. I do not remember if I struggled thus with making decisions prior to my husband's death or not. My memory fails me often. Maybe it is just that I no longer have my partner to share my pros and cons with or more likely, he had such a skilled way of thinking that he could cut right to what was truly important.
More than once this month the loneliness of single parenting has stung. It hurts when there are conflicts in responsibilities and I cannot be 2 or 3 places at once. The latest is that the date of my son's end of the season wrestling banquet has been changed a week before the event. It has been changed to a night that my principal has required that all faculty attend an evening event. I cannot be in 2 places at once. I have searched for other possible solutions. We have no other close acquaintances in our wrestling world and non-wrestling friends have busy lives.
My son now faces such news with resign because he has heard it before. He doesn't complain but it breaks my heart and makes me feel like I have failed. I pray that God will use these disappointments to make us both spiritually stronger. Now I am off to have some quiet time before the boys wake up. Praying to reclaim my joy and peace in abundance.
dinner:
a mish mash(something different for each...gluten free pizza, ravioli, chicken pot pie
little house in the big woods
no other gods
helping children know God
1 samuel
today grateful for:
God
my boys
the bible
a warm house
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