As many understand, being a single parent is tough. I struggle with many issues that one might imagine, the greatest of which are isolation and darkness. Pressures, challenges and stressors as of late have not come from my own children or family but from outside.
Once such example is the bi-weekly bereavement support group for children that the boys and I attend. Last week I received a call because someone had complained to the director that my 2 year old was too talkative. He attends the adult breakout group with me because there is not a group for children under the age of 3. Granted these are all folks who have children attending other breakout groups. My first inclination was to stop attending but I attend this mainly for the benefit of my oldest son. It is not fair to him for us to stop attending. My solution may be to stop going to the adult breakout session and just play in the hallway while the 7-year old attends his group.
Another stressor has been the meetings/functions I am required to attend for work. Some mean that I must rush from work to pick up my children, grab some dinner and return with my children in tow for the after hours requirements. It already seems that I spend so little time with my children and these requirements only intensify that feeling. It also is difficult because it often means we get home past their bath and bedtimes and so it disrupts up our routines for the following morning as well. My oldest son is showing strains from this lack of home time in his academic work, since it means we often have to choose between sleep and reading together on these nights when I have extra work. Plus when I have to attend after hours it means I have to forgo the only self indulgent activity I participate in which is my exercise/running. Also when I must work after hours, I get less sleep because any extra time spent away from home means staying up later to complete the necessary tasks at home (fixing lunches, laundry, cleaning house, maintaining the household, managing the budget/bills, completing paperwork from work that I had to bring home.)
Lately, the changes at my church have been an additional concern. Due to life changes and other factors, there is only one other person to help in our classroom. There just are not enough people to do everything-so many others are already doing multiple essential tasks. Therefore, as I look towards the future months, I will not attending the worship service much since I am on for 2 Sundays in a row and then on each week in between that I am off I will miss the regular service as I am going to be out of town for family functions and vacation. I am grateful for and I love and value every minute of my calling as a children's teacher but I desire to enjoy the corporate annointing of the workship service also.
Here is where I need my weapon and my antidepressant. The darkness I face is real and the battles are daily ones. As we read in Ephesians 6:12, many of our struggles are not with flesh and blood but with rulers of darkness. Therefore, my weapons and antidepressant are more powerful than firearms and drugs. I have found 2 weapons that help me in my daily battles--praise and prayer. I have been so far into an isolated, dark and depressing funk sometimes that it was hard to see the Light--even though mentally I know it is there- I am blinded. It is then that I have to praise God. I have had the greatest and most rapid success with using praise music. Even when I do not feel like singing, I turn on the local Christian station or a praise recording and make myself speak the words or sing along. Prayer is the other weapon that even if I struggle to do so, it works just to ask God to help me. It is that simple-all I have to do is "reach" for my weapon and He hands it to me and strengthens me to fight back and He shows me that my hope is there all along.
God is always there-He never fails.
Ways you can support a single mom:
1. Pray
2. Offer to babysit.
3. Provide a service (doing yardwork or handiwork, picking up or delivering something like trash, mail, etc.)
4. Don't offer invitations or treats for things that are only for her attendance if she has no childcare or babysitter-it can emphasize the loneliness or isolation she feels.
5. Respect and support their family time during the regular workweek.
PS--I have several friends who do these kinds of things for us--I am so thankful for their love and support.
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