Missing

Well, after many computer issues and demands on my time, I have made it back to blog. I have decided perhaps it is better to "microblog"(a bit like the short posts on Facebook) sometimes rather than not to blog at all.

A few weeks ago I had Andy's blog printed into a book. He would often ask me to read his blog posts and give him feedback. His posts were always incredible to me. He had such a gift for writing, words coupled with incredible insight. I often referred to him as my LOV ("Lord of Vocabulary"). He was a man who read Plato, Socrates and Machiavelli for fun, knew hundreds of hymns with the accompanying keys and still had room inside his head for every baseball stat you could think of and enjoyed watching pro wrestling---truly a polymath! I treasure his writings and I have read them over and over again during this past year. They are a wonderful reflection of his mind at work as well as a record of the events of our family. I know that the boys will value his writings as they grow older as a way to understand him, remember him, and to connect with him.

In some ways it is hard to believe that one year ago this month, my beloved left this earth. Sometimes it feels like only a few weeks have past yet some nights it seems like an eternity since I last saw his dear face, held his hand and heard his voice. I realized recently that some of our friends who are not local or who we have not seen since almost a year ago, may not know the details of Andy's final days. I promise to write a post detailing that time in the near future.

A few months ago, a friend of mine asked me what I miss most about Andy. I knew the answer to that question immediately--everything.
I miss everything about him.
I miss his physical presence.
I miss his wit and wisdom.
I miss his calm.
I miss talking to him late into the night.
I miss his joy for life.
I miss his encouragement.
I miss his help with the boys.
I miss his laundry on the floor.
I miss him quoting lyrics to songs that often caught me off guard.
I miss the sound of him playing video games.
I miss the sound of his laughter and him playing "world of pain" with the boys.
I miss the sound of the long showers he took.
I miss him playing the piano.
I miss waiting for him to come home late from gaming.
I miss praying with him.
I miss calling him throughout the day.
I miss his sarcasm.
I miss his advice.
I miss his capacity to love so many so much.
I miss his fuzzy bald head.
I miss his beautiful singing.
I miss ironing his clothes when he let me.
I miss the black shirts.
I miss his willingness to give you "the shirt off his back."
I miss making eyes at him as he played keyboard at church.
I miss sitting next to him at church.
I miss our long talks during car trips.
I miss the empty ice trays.
I miss his perspective on politics.
I miss going to the movies with him.
I miss mocking him.
I miss the new roll of toilet paper on the counter, never on the holder.
I miss the way he liked the temp in the house to be freezing and the fan to be on year round.
I miss making him dinner.
I miss his spontaneity.
I miss the new things he was always introducing me to.
I miss his goofy dancing.
I miss how he pushed me into areas he knew I could conquer.
I miss the debating.
I miss his wonderful fatherly way with the boys.
I miss him staying up late and sleeping in.
I miss his incredible insight into the things of God.
I miss how he would talk over my head.
I miss disagreeing with him.
I miss how we could get on each others nerves.
I miss how he made me happy.
I miss his poetic way with words.
I miss my better half.
I miss my best friend.
I miss my beloved.
I miss Andy.