the big one-O

Tomorrow my first born turns 10. The time seems to be flying by. I look back at pictures from when he was little and I try to remember those exact moments in time. We have so many incredible memories. Sometimes it feels like grief has stolen precious moments from us. Still, I treasure so many of the moments I enjoy with him...snuggling on the couch in the evening reading from one of the Chronicles of Narnia books(he always begs me not to stop-to read just a bit more)...watching him encourage and teach his brother...when he runs to show me his latest Lego creation...when he laughs out loud and tells me a funny part of one of his Diary of a Wimpy Kid or Big Nate books...when he says "I need to tell you something" and he as he approaches my ear, he kisses me on the cheek instead.

This week, besides his birthday, I was reminded he is growing up because we had our first in-depth installment of sex ed talks. With the Penn State scandal so prevalent in the news, we hear the word, "sex" at least a couple of times a day. So he asked about sex. I inquired trying to find out how much he knew. I found out a bit of misinformation he had heard from his peers and attempted to clarify with a bit of truth and God's Truth. As I gave him some basic anatomy information, he covered his ears (while still listening) and said, "This is so gross." I wonder how these talks go when given by a father?

My heart's desire is for him to grow up, be full of joy, know and live out God's plan for his life...but there is this tiny portion of my heart that wants to keep my little boy, alittle boy forever. When I was a kid, I thought if you sprayed lots of hairspray on a baby kitten or dog you could keep them little. I guess that is why we have scrapbooks.

currently listening to:
boys' AM banter

dinner: (last night)
bbq, slaw, mac and cheese (at kids bereavement mtg)

currently reading:
the voyage of the dawn treader
the undistracted widow
Lamentations

today grateful for:
my boys
memories