In my last blog post, I promised to write of M’s coming to Christ. I now wish I had stopped that night and made a few notes. These days my memory often fails me. I do recall the basics, just not every detail. I am so thankful that both of my boys know Christ. I want to live to see my boys grow up, live happy and full lives as God wills for them. Yet, I feel that I have carried out one of the most important missions God has given me.
In the days leading up to M’s decision, he had been consumed by the thought of death. My guess is it may have begun on our discombobulated trip home from Boone when he accidentally got his right hand slammed in the car door. For several days following, he would repeat, “I don’t want you to die.” I don’t want T. to die.” I don’t want Franklin to die.” (our dog) Before December 2008, I would probably had told him not to worry about me, his mother, dying. But I cannot say that, as any moment might be my last with him on this earth. I hugged him each time and told him I loved him. I told him about his Daddy being in heaven because Andy loved Jesus and had asked Jesus to live in his heart and be his savior.
As I watch the documentary programs recounting the events of September 11, 2001, I recall my thoughts of that day and that week. I was 32 weeks pregnant with our first child. I was at work that morning and I remember a parent coming into our school to tell us that a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center. It was up to me in the library to tune the cable channels for our school’s closed circuit system. I spent the morning, in between the times I taught my library classes, watching the monitor. As many others, I called the person who I loved and meant the most to me, my husband. I thought, what kind of a world and situation are we bringing a child into? We had tried for one and a half years before conceiving this blessed child. In a conversation with my mother-in-law, she reminded us of the beautiful hymn, “Because He lives.” That weekend was the baby shower. Five months later at the baby dedication, Andy and I sang, "Because He Lives" and my mother-in-law accompanied us.
This child can face uncertain days because He lives.
In the ten years since that day…
…our first child was born
…my father died
…our second child was born
…Andy’s grandmother, my mother-in-law’s mother, died
…Andy, my husband, their father, a son, a brother died
What does our future hold? As I look at all of the natural disasters and freakish weather we have had not only in just the past month but in the past 2 years, I do not know.I do know...
God sent His son, they called Him Jesus
He came to love, heal, and forgive.
He lived and died to buy my pardon,
An empty grave is there to prove my Savior lives.
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
Because He lives, All fear is gone.
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living just because He lives.
How sweet to hold a newborn baby,
And feel the pride and joy he gives.
But greater still the calm assurance,
This child can face uncertain days because He lives.
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
Because He lives, All fear is gone.
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living just because He lives.
And then one day I'll cross the river,
I'll fight life's final war with pain.
And then as death gives way to victory,
I'll see the lights of glory and I'll know He lives.
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
Because He lives, All fear is gone!
Because I know He holds the future
And life is worth the living just because He lives!
~ William and Gloria Gaither ~
currently listening to:
9/11 broadcasts
dinner(last night):
omelets
home fries
chicken bacon
prince caspian
getting things done
ezekiel
ecclesiastes
today grateful for:
my boys
God's mercy
salvation through Christ
our lives
the days I had with Andy
my country
