Day 2

It seems to me that sometimes when I try to aim in the right direction and do the right thing that is when a struggle often begins. Today was just such a day. I got up early for my quiet time. That went smoothly and I thought it was productive.

Then my eldest got up and began to grumble, pout and complain. He had unfinished homework from the night before. Tuesdays are our hectic evenings--scramble to leave work, grab a fast food dinner to go, pick up the kids, go to counseling (1 child at a time), eat and work on homework in the waiting room, then off to sports or scouts, then rush home and get boys in bed 30-45 minutes later than their regular bedtime. So as the morning routine was beginning, I felt like I was in a mini battle then the battle intensified as my 4 year old got up and only wanted to lay on the couch. Between their grumbling and complaining we managed to have a few minutes of upbeat family snuggle time. The morning was certainly not as joyful and pleasant as yesterday morning. I struggled on my drive to work to get back to that place of peace I had found during my alone time only a few hours earlier. I searched the local Christian radio stations for an uplifting song that would get my mind out of its self-absorbed place. Have you ever noticed how many of contemporary, rock and alternative Christian songs are focused around "whoa is me," "I messed up," "I am a mess" themes. Those are not uplifting for me. I just wanted a good ole hymn of praise. Note to self: remember to put one or two CDs with some of those hymns in the antiquated 6 CD player located in the luggage storage in the back of the car.

So I worked my way through the day with my busiest schedule, the day I see all 200+ students at my school. I did not have my love eyes open so I probably missed opportunities.

This evening we had our regular family night and the boys were fine. Actually they were better than I was. I could feel a hormonal wave rising up towards tsunami size. Really God, what is the purpose of these hormones that cause our emotions to rage against us?

So needless to say, I did no acts of love today. At this point, I am calling it a day..going to bed earlier and I'm ready to try again tomorrow.


celebration - 0
discards-2
nonessential purchases - 0


Currently listening to:
JJ Heller

Dinner:
roast pork tenderloin
rice
broccoli with cheese
milkshakes

Currently reading:
365 Thank Yous
Matthew
Studies in the Sermon on the Mount

Today grateful for:
my eldest who is a wonderful big brother
the word
God
second chances