No two years are alike

My dad had a saying, "If you use a new word three times, it is yours." On weekdays while I prioritize my calendar, I listen to the Merriam Webster's word of the day podcast. Enjoying words reminds me of Andy. I would kid him as, my LOV, lord of the vocabulary. 

I look forward to Merriam Webster's announcement of the word of the year for 2020. The Oxford dictionary folks have capitulated to a crowded list of "words of the year" including "unprecedented." None of their choices are superlative. Their lack of definitive choice is appropriate as tepidness sums up 2020.

Just as we are often reminded that no two children are alike, this year has been a vivid reminder that each year has different events, sadness, and joy.

Despite tepidness, this year does not feel as gray as the previous eleven since Andy's death. This came to mind when I reposted a Facebook article on grief in the holiday season. I did not have my own season in mind, but I was thinking of the mother who is marking the first year anniversary of her child's passing and the relatives who are facing the first holiday season without a brother and mother. Perhaps this year is exceptional because it feels as if the earth has been knocked out of its ordered rotation. Nevertheless, I am grateful that God in His sovereignty and grace has given us a chance to scrutinize our routines, precepts, priorities, and beliefs.

This year differs from others for me as....a year with my adult child, who transitioned into the college world....a year of stepping into the expanded role of professor....a year with an amplified amount of domestic, voluntary, and occupational responsibilities...a year without vacation... a year with numerous opportunities to reflect and analyze assumptions, customs and rituals.

Here's to hoping that this year is remembered as one of introspection, both collectively and individually. 

"Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy. Blessed is the one who fears the Lord always, but whoever hardens his heart will fall into calamity."   Proverbs 28:13-14 ESV

currently listening to:
dripping faucet

currently reading: 
Genesis
The Cost of Discipleship
The Lazy Genius Way
The ministry of ordinary places
Stylish Academic Writing
1984

today grateful for:  
my boys
BSF
faith
His word 
God's plan
paid time off
modern technology for communication
cool weather 
clean water 
electricity

amazing

the past several weeks have been amazing.. my god has held me in his tender hand and brought me to my knees with His amazing miracles.  my words are meager to express the goodness of God.

i would not trade a minute of my last week. God's faithfulness to prepare me for every step is awesome. i struggle to put into words how amazing He is. years ago He gave me a desire for His mission. i am blessed to be in my mission field as my career. i have not always been thankful though. i have had days, weeks, and months where i have wondered why the hardship.

months ago He gave me an increased desire for His missions. when the opportunity presented itself for me to take a short term mission trip to mexico, i jumped. i did not ask why or how, i just knew it was to be. i am thankful for my family and friends whose help has provided me the opportunity to follow this desire.

five days ago at work while i was pursuing a student who i thought was fleeing out of the building, and i heard a pop and i fell face first onto the floor. an ambulance took me from school to the emergency room. i am thankful for this mishap and the opportunities to connect to others and taste the goodness of my Lord.

 i am thankful for--
--my God who is not surprised by circumstances,
--my school nurse who tended to me and kept me from passing out and then came to the emergency room and prayed for me
--the dear ambulance workers/EMTs
--my custodian who was at the emergency room when i arrived and stayed with me and prayed for me
--the teacher who stayed with me in the ER, prayed for me, drove me home, got my prescriptions filled, brought my car to my house,
--the friend who i knew i could call to pick up my children and care for them like her own,
--my coworkers who stepped in without hesitation to help
---my parent volunteers who were my shining stars
--my coworkers who are bold in stopping to hold my hand and pray
--God's faithfulness and provision
--for God's reminder to abandon my cynicism and recognize my enemy is Satan not those Satan uses and those Satan prompts me to hate
--opportunities to stop and see the hand of God
--my best friend who encourages me and shares my love for our Saviour,
--my life group
--my friends and family whose prayers covered me before anyone knew of my accident,


God deserves all the glory. we walk daily in the VICTORY He prepared, planned and gave us. this week i was reminded that ALL people are made in His image. satan is the enemy not people.

dinner:
pizza

currently reading:
let hope in by pete wilson

fervent by priscilla shirer

gideon by priscilla shirer

being the body by chuch colson

the mysterious benedict society by trenton lee stewart

today grateful for:

God's faithfulness

my boys

laughter and silliness

healing

the WORD

my coworkers

my friends

my church

clean water and electricity

freedom to worship

bold Christians

prayer

thankful, day 7

I am blessed and thankful for my principal. He is wise, kind, and passionate about what he does. He is anointed to be in this position. The grace he carries as our leader brings peace to situations. He sets a tone that makes me eager to go to "work" everyday.
 
dinner:
tortilla soup

currently listening to:
silence

currently reading:
1 corinthians 13
roll of thunder, hear my cry
run your butt off
kizzy ann stamps

today grateful for: 
my boys
my coworkers
my students
our morning book club
the opportunity and ability to learn new things
peace
electricity and clean water
electricity, the crock-pot and the washing machine

rough days

rough days give me a chance to

• forgive and ask for forgiveness,
• seek God for all my strength,
• go to bed  with the hope I am here to try again tomorrow, and
• show that the only perfect person is Jesus.

Randy Travis sings my favorite version of this song. Here are 2 other Carolina boys with their version(my second fav).

 

dinner:
pot roast

currently listening to:
snoring dog

currently reading:
my one word
a wind in the door
proverbs
psalms

today grateful for: 
the opportunities strife offers
God' presence and provision
His word
my boys 
crock-pots
being forgiven
good health
the read aloud feature of the YouVersion app

but He is strong

It has been a couple of very rough weeks at work. There have been huge personnel and relationship issues. My prayers initially were for everything to be resolved quickly. That has not happened. In fact, God has reminded me in the midst of these frustrations and stresses- I am weak but He is strong.

That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:10

In the fall I blogged about asking, "What does this experience make possible?"--in the midst of negative situations. So lately I have asked, what has this strife at work made possible?

• an opportunity for me to rely on God as a sole source of reassurance
• an opportunity to acknowledge that God is in control
• an opportunity and reminder I need to spend more time and thought engaged purposefully with God
• an opportunity to avoid being lukewarm
• an opportunity to bless others and hopefully glorify God

Times such as these are like hot, dry days when one longs for a huge, glass of water. The circumstances are the "hot, dry days" and God's presence and truth are the refreshment.




dinner:
chick-fil-a

currently listening to:
fire in the fireplace

currently reading:
my one word
a wind in the door
2 corinthians

today grateful for: 
the opportunities strife offers
sitting on the couch with my feet propped up
God' presence and provision
His word
my boys
hearing my oldest play "brahm's lullaby" on the piano
a job
snuggling with my youngest while we say our nightly "thankfuls"
good health

getting things done

GTD or getting things done is a book and system by David Allen. I have been beginning to implement this system in my worklife. Needless to say, now that I am back at work (even though my work life is MUCH more organized and my office and desk look great!) I am finding I do not have much energy when I get home at the end of the day. I need that extra energy at the end of the day for... time with the boys, fixing dinner, doing housework, exercising, blogging, etc. (That is why I have not blogged for quite sometime.)

Yesterday was a LONG day with tons of meetings and monkey-wrenches that had to be handled. The evening was supposed to be just for being with the boys...going to their school for open house/orientation. In the midst, I found out that my cell phone company had terminated my service because the bank had refused my check because it did not apparently like my account number. Turns out that the little guy, that's me, is getting the bad end of the deal as my big bank got swallowed up by a ginormous bank. I have learned in this past week that there are many more bad deals for us little guys to come from this mega bank. (Great! so now in my free time I get to search for and switch my bank.) Anywho, I was distracted by trying to handle all of this and I forgot to take my kids' big boxes of school supplies (which I spent a long time labeling night before last) to the school for orientation....my weekly "mom-forgot-something" moment. Even though I turned to fast food for our dinner, I did manage to get in our nightly reading session. I continue to be inspired by the actions of another single parent, librarian, written of in the Reading Promise. (We started our streak on June 8, 2011...73 days ago.)


A quote from Oswald Chambers I am ruminating over:
"Discouragement is disillusioned self-love, and self-love may be love for my devotion to Jesus— not love for Jesus Himself."

currently listening to:
my eldest turning the pages of his book as he reads for his required time(homework from mom)

dinner(last night):
fast food

currently reading:
the horse and his boy
unclutter your life in one week
the reading promise
romans

today grateful for:
my boys
God
provision
electricity
modern appliances
clean water
sleep